A New Perspective
Born into an alcoholic home, all my life I dreamed of escape. Escape from abuse, escape from relationships, and escape from living in secret. In my dreams, I was free to travel, live openly, and free to just be me.
In my adult life I made it my mission to escape all the trappings of my mind. Breaking the chains of past beliefs and patterns that no longer serve me, leaving behind toxic relationships and vowing to live the life I only dreamed of.
In October of 2016, I was excited to have the opportunity to visit the slot canyons in Page, AZ. At first I was filled with anxiety and fear because I have always had a fear of confined spaces. From above, the canyons didn’t seem to be what I thought. It was covered in sand and rock and the entrance seemed to be only a large crack in the earth like the aftermath of an earthquake. It was wide to begin with but narrowed as we descended down a steep staircase. I felt like I was slowly falling down into a sink hole.
We had an experienced guide but the climb down into the canyons was steep and long, the walk through was confining in spots and it was dark in many places along the way. I found myself succumbing to the anxiety so I stopped to look up in search of the light and a way out. The guide instructed us on how to change a few settings on our cameras to allow the beauty of the canyons to show themselves. I breathed in, tamped down my anxiety and began to take a few hesitant pictures. As I looked up I had a huge epiphany.
My anxiety was coming from my perspective. To lessen the anxiety, I simply had to change my perspective. My life has often been like that trip into the canyons; steep, long, confining, and dark at times. There is light if I choose to look up. There can be peace in the moment if I will stop, breathe and allow myself to see from a new perspective. The escape I dream of is possible, no matter where I find myself, if I can gain a new perspective.